Opening Thoughts
Autonomy vs shame and doubt is a stage well elaborated by Erikson in his theory of psychosocial development. Taking place from the age of 18 months through 3 years this stage is crucial in encouraging independence and self-reliance. The way that a child goes through this period has implications on his emotional and social well-being in adult age.
This article will discuss this stage how it affects a child and some ways parents can assist their children during these significant years.
What is Autonomy vs. Shame and Doubt?
Erikson’s second stage of psychosocial development known as autonomy vs. shame and doubt is all about the need for independence in a child. It happens during a period when a child starts asserting him/herself and his/her capacity to set particular boundaries. During this epoch, they have one overriding question: ‘Can I do things myself?’
This is also the time when children are learning to walk, to use the toilet, and to feed themselves. For children, if parents create favorable conditions for exploration and learning, children gain heuristic attitudes, confidence, self-restraint, and willingness.
Nonetheless, when children are overpowered by controls or limitations, they possibly develop feelings of shame or doubt regarding their capacities. This can manifest as low self-esteem, dependency, and regression from challenges and, new ideals.
The Importance of Autonomy in Child Development
Freedom is one of the most critical aspects of child development in the early years. When toddlers start learning one motor skill after the other, they also start to develop the person inside them. They can get touchy about personal matters like dressing or feeding themselves and move about improved and independent. Discipline and confidence essential for younger children shall be built during this stage.
When parents cleave to the seven steps of independence where they let toddlers perform a task on their own, self-worth results. It helps them to be confident in their world, to experiment, to solve problems, and to learn in the world around them.
Positive Autonomy Examples:
- 2-year-old trips and falls immediately after beginning to walk or decides they will eat all subsequent meals with spoons themselves. Their parents welcome it, encourage it, and usually reward children for doing it.
- A toddler likes getting a treat from the cupboard and feeling that s/he has prepared it him/herself.
Negative Outcomes:
- A child who has to make every move or decision dictated or judged may start to develop feelings of low self-worth. For instance, parents may force the kid to wear clothes even when a child is capable of putting on the dressing even against his/her willingness; it leads to the emergence of dependency and shame.
- Parenting interference such as being overly critical or impatient when training the child on potty training may lead to feelings of guilt any time the child has an accident and thus never become independent.
What Is Shame and Doubt?
The second, representing shame and doubt, is revealed to grow when children start encountering the rules of society. This phase normally takes place between the ages of 3 and 6 years, that is while in preschool. In this stage the focus changes and becomes a question, more specifically is it acceptable to do things my way?
As children spend more time with peers and adults such as teachers and child-minders, they begin to ingratiate themselves to the expectations that go with a particular culture. If their behaviors or wants and needs are not supported in their culture, they can be filled with shame or doubt. For instance, when a child does not wash and clean him or herself, the child feels embarrassed to join other kids, or if a kid is having an enema, he or she feels shy during group play activities because the kid feels that he or she does not know how to comport him or herself well.
I argue that the feeling of shame emerges when children realize that one has failed or did not do what is required of them. But, there is doubt when they grow to be in a position of doubting themselves and start to feel incompetent or even guilty of not as expected.
Examples of Shame and Doubt:
- A child who is 4 years old and is ok with potty training but feels ashamed when he or she soiled herself at school or in front of other kids.
- When for instance, a preschooler has been playing, or weaning from the breast and is abruptly withdrawn from the activity-that easily makes them lose morale and become doubtful of themself.
Why Are These Stages Important?
Erikson believed that successfully navigating this stage results in two key virtues: willpower and self-control. The children being able to make decisions and freedom for that to a certain extent increases confidence and self-reliance. On the other hand, if a child does not manage to deal with shame and doubts, then he/she will have low self-estime and dependency in other stages of his/her development.
Ironically, the positive attributes resulting from masterful passage through the process of achieving autonomy versus feelings of shame and doubt largely constitute the model for additional emotional, social, and cognitive development that will follow in subsequent stages. It should be noted that the development of autonomy would prepare the child for the future psychosocial crisis of initiative vs. guilt at the stage of Marcia’s theory.
Supporting Your Child Through Autonomy and Shame/Doubt
Parents play a pivotal role in helping children navigate this critical stage of development. Their involvement can directly affect how children learn to manage autonomy and how they cope with feelings of shame or doubt.
Tips for Encouraging Autonomy:
- Allow your child to make choices: Let your child choose minor decisions like what clothes they wish to wear, or what snack they would like to have.
- Be patient: Do not control your child’s attempt to do something new in a hurry because you will only end up being irritated when they make a mess or do it slowly.
- Provide safe spaces for exploration: Let your child roam around on his or her own to play and interact with objects in the environment within the restricted area of play.
- Set gentle, but firm limits: Allow your child to freely decide for him/herself, but guide him/her when decisions made may be dangerous.
Avoiding Shame and Doubt:
- Praise effort, not just results: Encourage your child more on the efforts they made than the results that they have gotten. It helps to keep on working, and it helps to do away with feelings of shame.
- Provide emotional support: The other stipulation common with the majority of children is that as much as you discourage them from giving up whenever they get stuck, assure them that failing is a process everyone goes through.
- Use positive discipline: Whenever punishment is desirable, it is far more effective to concentrate on altering the types of behavior and setting up proper standards.
- Encourage trial and error: It may sound cliché but let your child learn through failure and errors. Another thing you should not do is to constantly bail them out by solving their problem: doing so hinders their development.
Connecting Autonomy and Shame/Doubt to Future Stages
Autonomy vs. shame and doubt is a developmental stage that builds up the following psychosocial stages. Confidence and self-control built in this stage will determine a child’s competitiveness in the subsequent stages some of which include; the industry vs inferiority stage (6-11 years) and identity vs confusion stage (12-18 years). Children who have a strong sense of autonomy are likely to develop abilities regarding social relationships, school, and identity as they grow.
Takeaway
Autonomy vs. shame and doubt is a developmental stage that builds up the following psychosocial stages. Confidence and self-control built in this stage will determine a child’s competitiveness in the subsequent stages some of which include; the industry vs inferiority stage (6-11 years) and identity vs confusion stage (12-18 years). Children who have a strong sense of autonomy are likely to develop abilities regarding social relationships, school, and identity as they grow.