Premarital Counseling Questions


Premarital counseling involves discussing important relationship topics to evaluate compatibility and equip couples with skills for a healthy marriage. By addressing critical issues beforehand, counseling helps marriages get off to a strong start.

Specifically, tailored questions are asked to uncover potential challenges and strengthen strengths. This article covers some common ones across key evaluation domains.

Key Statistics About Premarital Counseling

Divorce RatesCouples who receive premarital counseling have 30% lower divorce rates
Areas AssessedCompatibility, communication, conflict resolution, expectations, finances, intimacy, family plans
Sessions NeededAt least 3-5 sessions are recommended for effective evaluation and preparation.
Types of CounselingPsychoeducation, skills-building, assessment inventories, role plays, relationship exercises
BenefitsHigher marital satisfaction, quality, and adjustment. Lower domestic violence infidelity risks.

Relationship History

Relationship History
  • What attracted you to each other initially?
  • How long have you been dating, and what stage is your relationship currently in?
  • How did you meet and start dating? Did any issues come up along the way?
  • What do you love most about your partner? What are some challenges?
  • Have you lived together before? How did that go?

Communication Skills

Communication Skills
  • Describe your communication styles. How do you typically discuss problems?
  • How do you make decisions as a couple – jointly or independently?
  • How do you negotiate or compromise when you disagree on something?
  • How do you argue or fight – what triggers conflicts, and how do you resolve them?
  • Do you find it easy or hard to share feelings openly? Why?

Family Background

Family Background
  • Tell me about your family upbringing – closest relationships, household dynamics, parenting styles.
  • How did previous family experiences shape who you are today?
  • Do you have any unresolved issues from your childhood? How might they impact marriage?
  • What are your parents/siblings like? How involved are you with your families?

Expectations From Marriage

Expectations From Marriage
  • Why do you want to get married at this stage in life? What prompted the decision?
  • What expectations do you have from the roles of a husband and wife? How did you each learn about marriage expectations?
  • What will and won’t change after marriage? How compatible are your views?
  • What is most important for a successful marriage to you – intimacy, communication, shared interests, children, etc.?

Financial Management

Financial Management
  • What is your combined income potential? Savings, assets, and liabilities? Spending habits?
  • How will financial decisions get made – joint account, separate finances, budgeting?
  • What financial goals do you share – home ownership, retirement, kids’ education, etc.?
  • How will lifestyle changes like job losses, health issues, and kids be handled financially?


  • How would you describe your intimacy levels and the quality of your physical relationship so far?
  • What are your expectations, desires, and views on intimacy after marriage?
  • Have differences come up before? How comfortable are you discussing intimacy openly?
  • Do any past traumas or experiences impact your intimacy? How will you support each other?

Parenthood & Family Planning

Parenthood & Family Planning
  • Do you both want children? If so how many and what’s your timeline?
  • How will parenting roles and responsibilities be divided? Parenting philosophies?
  • How will you balance work life and kids? Prioritize each other amid new responsibilities?
  • How do your families feel about your plans? Will you have their support?

Lifestyle & Personal Growth

Lifestyle & Personal Growth
  • What personal hobbies and interests do you share or have individually?
  • How will you make time for each other amid busy lives? Date nights, vacations together?
  • What are your views on personal growth within marriage – continuing education, careers, self-improvement?
  • How will lifestyle changes like health issues, aging parents, moves be jointly handled?

Conflict Resolution

Conflict Resolution
  • What triggers do you try and avoid when arguing? Communication roadblocks?
  • How can disagreements get discussed and resolved constructively?
  • What compromise and problem-solving styles suit you both best -win-win, alternating?
  • Are you willing to acknowledge faults and say sorry when needed? Forgive and let go of issues?

Commitment & Decision Making

Commitment & Decision Making
  • What does being “committed for life” mean for you both in practical terms? Fidelity, priority, teamwork?
  • How will lifestyle, career and family decisions which impact each other get taken?
  • If challenges arise like job loss, debts, disabilities – how committed are you to stand by each other?

Premarital Counseling Goals

Premarital Counseling Goals
  • What challenges if any do you foresee in your marriage and want help addressing proactively?
  • What strengths do you want to enhance – intimacy, communication skills, financial planning etc.?
  • How can counseling help you get the best start possible for a healthy, thriving marriage?

Discussing these questions candidly and using counseling as a partnership-building tool lays the foundation for understanding each other better and equipping the relationship for lifelong challenges.

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